Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (Ron Burgundy)
I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly…
1077 Best Movie Monologues
American Graffiti (Joe)
JOE: Listen, ah – Carl, I – Curt. Despite you scratching Gil”s car, I like you. And I know what you”d like more than anything right now. Like every guy in town, you got the same secret dream, right? Ya want to join the Pharaohs. Huh? You can admit it – you”d like to – but you never dreamed it could be possible, did you? Well, tonight, I”m goin” to give you your chance. Now you got three choices. One, you chicken out. In that case, I let Ants tie you to the car and drag you around a little bit. And you don”t want that, right? Two, you foul up and Holstein hears you and well, ah… you don”t want that, right? Three, you are successful and you join the Pharaohs with a carcoat, and the blood initiation and all that, huh?More Monologues from “American Graffiti”RelatedShareTweetPin
American Graffiti (John)
JOHN: That”s Freddy Benson”s Vette… he got his head on with some drunk. Never had a chance. Damn good driver, too. What a waste when somebody gets it and it ain”t even their fault. That Vette over there. Walt Hawkins, a real ding-a-ling. Wrapped it around a fig tree out on Mesa Vista with five kids in it. Draggin” with five kids in the car, how dumb can you get? All the ding-a-lings get it sooner or later. Maybe that”s why they invented cars. To get rid of the ding-a-lings. Tough when they take someone with them. I”ve never been beaten – lot of punks have tried. See that “41 Ford there? Used to be the fastest wheels in the valley. I never got a chance to race old Earl. He got his in “55 in the hairiest crash ever happened around here. He was racing a “54 Chevy, bored and loaded, out on the old Oakdale Highway and every damn kid in town was out there. The Chevy lost its front wheel doing about 85. The idiot had torched the spindles to lower the front end and it snapped right off. He slammed bam into the Ford and then they both of them crashed into a row of cars and all those kids watchin! Jesus, eight kids killed including both drivers, looked like a battlefield. Board of Education was so impressed they filmed it. Show it now in Drivers Education, maybe you”ll see it. Anyway, since then street racing”s gone underground. No spectators, I mean. Too bad.More Monologues from “American Graffiti”RelatedShareTweetPin
American Graffiti (Laurie)
LAURIE: You take me out? When we first met you didn”t have enough sense to take the garbage out… I asked you out, remember? Backwards Day – remember? If I had waited for you to ask me – even after that you didn”t call me for two weeks. You were scared. Dave Oboler told me. Then when you did ask me out you didn”t kiss me for three dates. I even asked my father why you hadn”t kissed me. He said he thought you were bright and you”d probably think of kissing me after a while. You didn”t, of course. I had to. Remember that picnic? Oh boy! You can”t remember anything – the first one, up at the lake. That was the first time you kissed me – I practically had to throw myself at you. (Laurie starts to cry, hating herself for it.) Go to hell.More Monologues from “American Graffiti”RelatedShareTweetPin
American Graffiti (Manager)
MANAGER: Sit down a minute. Listen, it”s early in the morning. Now, I can”t really talk for the Wolfman. But I think if he was here he”d tell you to get your ass in gear. Now, no offense to your home town here, but this place ain”t exactly the hub of the universe, if you know what I mean. And well – I”ll tell you this much – the Wolfman does come in here now and then, with tapes, to check up on me, you know, and when I hear the stories he got about the places he goes. Hell, here I sit while there”s a big beautiful world out there, don”t ya know. Wolfman comes in last time talking about some exotic jungle country, handing me cigars he says was rolled on the naked thighs of brown beauties. The Wolfman been everywhere and he seen everything. He got so many stories, so many memories. And here I sit sucking on popsicles. I”m no kid anymore. I been here a long time. And the Wolfman – well, the Wolfman gave me my start and he”s sorta become my life. I can”t leave him now. Gotta be loyal to the Wolfman, you understand. I tell you what. If I can possibly do it tonight, I”ll try to relay this dedication and get it on the air for you later on.More Monologues from “American Graffiti”RelatedShareTweetPin
American Graffiti (Terry)
TERRY: Oh yeah? I used to have a couple of horses myself. I used them for hunting. I do a lot of hunting. Deer mostly, although I got a couple of bear last year. Yep, they were good ponies – hunting ponies. I had to train “em special, you know. I had to sell “em. To get these wheels… and a jeep. I also have a jeep pick-up, with four-wheel drive. It”s got a gun rack. And I use that for hunting mostly.More Monologues from “American Graffiti”RelatedShareTweetPin
American Pie (Jim”s Dad)
JIM”S DAD: Son, I wanted to talk to you about what I think you were trying to do the other day. Now, you may have tried it in the shower, or maybe in bed at night, and not even known what you were doing. Or perhaps you”ve heard your friends talking about it in the locker room. Sure you know, son, but I think you”ve been having a little problem with it. It”s okay, though. What you”re doing is perfectly normal. It”s like practice. Like when you play tennis against a wall. Someday, there”ll be a partner returning the ball. (a beat) You do want a partner, don”t you son? Now remember, it”s okay to play with yourself. Or, as I always called it – (elbows Jim) “Stroke the salami!” (chuckles) Ho-ho, Jim. There”s nothing to be ashamed of. Hell, I”m fifty-two, and I still enjoy mastur -. Uncle Mort mastur -. We all mastur -.*culledRelatedShareTweetPin
*culledRelatedShareTweetPin
American Psycho (Patrick Bateman)
Do you like Phil Collins? I’ve been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn’t understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where Phil Collins’ presence became more apparent. I think Invisible Touch was the group’s undisputed masterpiece. It’s an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums. Christy, take off your robe. Listen to the brilliant ensemble playing of Banks, Collins and Rutherford. You can practically hear every nuance of every instrument. Sabrina, remove your dress. In terms of lyrical craftsmanship, the sheer songwriting, this album hits a new peak of professionalism. Sabrina, why don’t you, uh, dance a little. Take the lyrics to Land of Confusion. In this song, Phil Collins addresses the problems of abusive political authority. In Too Deep is the most moving pop song of the 1980s, about monogamy and commitment. The song is extremely uplifting. Their lyrics are as positive and affirmative as anything I’ve heard in rock. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. Phil Collins’ solo career seems to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying, in a narrower way. Especially songs like In the Air Tonight and Against All Odds. Sabrina, don’t just stare at it, eat it. But I also think Phil Collins works best within the confines of the group, than as a solo artist, and I stress the word artist. This is Sussudio, a great, great song, a personal favorite.
American Psycho (Patrick Bateman)
I live in the American Gardens Building on West 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I’m 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I’ll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial masque which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me. Only an entity. Something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.
Amistad (Joseph Cinqué)
Give us, us free. Give us, us free. Give us, us free! Give us, us free! Give us, us free!