3 Best A Matter of Husbands Monologues

A Matter of Husbands (Earnest Young Woman)

Category: Play Role: Earnest Young Woman From: A Matter of Husbands

Earnest Young Woman says

No. I’ll read it to you.

(She opens it and reads mournfully)

“My darling, Shan’t be able to call for you at the theater tonight. Urgent business. A thousand apologies. Ten thousand kisses. Alfred.” I found it on his desk this morning. He probably intended to send it to the theater messenger. But he forgot it. And I opened it.

(She weeps.)

Why mustn’t I? You steal my husband and I mustn’t cry! Oh, I know how little it means to you. And how easy it is for you. One night you dress like a royal princess, and the next night you undress like a Greek goddess. You blacken your eyebrows and redden your lips and wax your lashes and paint your face. You have cosmetics and bright lights to make you seem beautiful. An author’s lines to make you seem witty and wise. No wonder a poor, simple-minded lawyer falls in love with you. What chance have I against you in my cheap little frock, my own lips and eyebrows, my own unstudied ways? I don’t know how to strut and pose and lure a man. I haven’t got Mr. Shakespeare to write beautiful speeches for me. In reality you may be more stupid than I am, but I admit that when it comes to alluring men I am no match for you.

A Matter of Husbands (Famous Actress)

Category: Play Role: Famous Actress From: A Matter of Husbands

Famous Actress says

There, dear, you mustn’t apologize. You couldn’t know, of course. It seems so plausible. You fancy your husband in an atmosphere of perpetual temptation, in a backstage world full of beautiful sirens without scruples or morals. One actress, you suppose, is more dangerous than a hundred ordinary women. You hate us and fear us. None understands that better than your husband, who is evidently a very cunning lawyer. And so he plays on your fear and jealousy to regain the love you deny him. He writes a letter and leaves it behind him on the desk. Trust a lawyer never to do that unintentionally. He orders flowers for me telephone in the morning and probably cancels the order the moment he reaches his office. the way, hasn’t he a lock of my hair? Yes. They bribe my hair-dresser to steal from me. It is a wonder I have any hair left at all.

A Matter of Husbands (Famous Actress)

Category: Play Role: Famous Actress From: A Matter of Husbands

Famous Actress says

My dear, if you knew how often we actresses meet this sort of thing! It is perfectly clear that your husband has been playing a little comedy to make you jealous, to revive your interest in him. It happens to every actress who is moderately pretty and successful. It is one of the oldest expedients in the world, and we actresses are such conspicuous targets for it! There is scarcely a man connected with the theater who doesn’t make use of us in that way some time or another–authors, composers, scene designers, lawyers, orchestra leaders, even the managers themselves. To regain a wife or sweetheart’s affections all they need to do is invent a love affair with one of us. The wife is always so ready to believe it. Usually we don’t know a thing about it. But even when it is brought to our notice we don’t mind so much. At least we have the consolation of knowing that we are the means of making many a marriage happy which might otherwise have ended in the divorce court.