Category: Movie Role: Annie Savoy From: Bull DurhamI believe in the church of baseball. I’ve tried all the major religions and most of the minor ones. I’ve worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Shiva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there’s one hundred and eight beads in a Catholic rosary and there’s one hundred and eight stitches in a baseball. When I learned that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn’t work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there’s no guilt in baseball, and it’s never boring, which makes it like sex. There’s never been a ballplayer slept with me who didn’t have the best year of his career. Making love is like hitting a baseball. You just got to relax and concentrate. Besides, I’d never sleep with a player hitting under .250. Not unless he had a lot of RBIs and was a great glove man up the middle. You see, there’s a certain amount of life wisdom I give these boys. I can expand their minds. Sometimes when I get a ballplayer alone, I’ll just read Emily Dickenson or Walt Whitman to him. And the guys are so sweet, they always stay and listen. Of course, a guy will listen to anything if he thinks it’s foreplay. I make them feel confident and they make me feel safe and pretty. ‘Course what I give them lasts a lifetime. What they give me lasts a hundred and forty two games. Sometimes it seems like a bad trade. But bad trades are part of baseball. Who can forget Frank Robinson for Milt Pappas, for God’s sake! It’s a long season, and you got to trust it. I’ve tried them all, I really have. And the only church that feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the church of baseball.
