4 Best That Which Isn't Monologues

That Which Isn’t (Helen)

Category: Play Role: Helen From: That Which Isn't

Helen says

HELEN

I didn’t love Jim very much.

(Pause.)

Maybe at all, really.

MARCUS

That’s not very funny.

HELEN

Not it’s not very funny. No. It isn’t. I thought it was going to be, but then I

said it.

(Pause.)

I think she…I think she thinks he reached out to me and that I could have

helped him.

MARCUS

He called you?

HELEN

All the time.

MARCUS

When?

HELEN

All the time.

MARCUS

I didn’t know that.

HELEN

Well. Well well. Well. Yes. He did. I hadn’t talked to him in years. For a

reason. He wasn’t my lost love. He would call me, and I would think “Why does

he keep calling me?” I didn’t want to see him. I don’t want to talk about him

like he was someone I’ll miss. I guess I didn’t ever love him at all, honestly.

He was a habit I formed, but then I broke that habit.

(Pause.)

I mean, if I loved him I would have answered the phone or responded to e-mails.

But I did not, and I never would have, and even now, I’m glad I didn’t. I

didn’t want to be involved. I still don’t. I’m here because you asked me to be,

because I was curious, maybe. You seem nice. A better friend than he deserves.

Deserved.

(Pause.)

Anyway, I get the impression that Tamara thought if I had maybe talked to him

or picked up the phone or bothered to whatever-it-is she thinks I could have

done, he’d be okay right now. But of course, he wouldn’t be. He wasn’t even

doing well when we were married. Before we were married he lied to me. Even

then.

(Pause.)

She thinks I don’t care that he died. I’m not even sure that I do.

That Which Isn’t (Helen)

Category: Play Role: Helen From: That Which Isn't

Helen says

The whole place was wall-to-wall cups. Little tea cups and coffee mugs and those tall sort of not-really wine glasses, if you know what I mean. I think she thought of it as a collection, but it wasn’t a collection. It wasn’t really a collection of anything. It was organized in no way I could imagine. Well, I guess it could be that anything she’d recently bought was closest to the entrance. There were a few I recognized from when fast food restaurants used to give away actual glasses, made of glass, with happy meals. For promotions. We had all these cups from movies. Family movies.

(Pause.)

I asked her what she intended to do with all these mugs and cups and she said she’d sell them, she thought, or give them away. She liked them. She said she has a friend with lots of shoes, like this, but she never really liked shoes.

(Pause.)

I told her that she was going to have to make decisions about these things, now. Even write it all down, if she wanted. She knew that we were going to try to sell that house, make her go somewhere they could take care of her, but she didn’t like to talk about it. So that was hard.

(Pause.)

She couldn’t argue against it, but she was scared of it, and didn’t want to live that way. I get it. I wish we didn’t have to make her live that way. But she can’t stay with me. My brother? He doesn’t even know what’s going on.

(Pause.)

She said she wanted me to have them, so I could sell them. But I can’t sell them, they’re junk. I could put them out for a yard sale, but she might see. I don’t know. I wish she hadn’t told me to take them. I don’t want them.

(Pause.)

Isn’t that sad?

That Which Isn’t (Marcus)

Category: Play Role: Marcus From: That Which Isn't

Marcus says

There’s this threshold when you stop complimenting weight loss. It usually comes with other factors, like something is wrong with his teeth. Hair’s thinner. Other things. Jim was fine, and then he lost weight, and then he looked like he was hollowing out. He was gray in places that he used to be green.

(Pause.)

Let me take it back a little bit. Um.

(Pause.)

He moved out here and we were all happy about it because, you know, he’s near us and that’s great. He was not doing well, sent those long e-mails that he’d send. Those e-mails people send when their meds aren’t properly calibrated He’d curse a lot. That’s what I always said. He was the kind of guy that cursed to make a joke, usually. When he was off, though, everyone was a motherfucker, or a fucking bitch, or something like that. It was off, you know. So we were happy he came out here. Sunshine. We could feed him. That’s what we thought.

(Pause.)

Anyway, he would lie. He told me he had hepatitis. He did not have hepatitis. We’d invite him over and he would just not show up. He could drive but said he didn’t want to have a car. He sold his car. This is L.A. He’d walk everywhere. Until he sort of stopped going places very far from his home.

(Pause.)

I used to actually have this e-mail chain with my wife and this other friend of his about what to do, you know? We couldn’t force him to go to the hospital. He never did anything in front of us that was actually criminal. He wasn’t even being dangerous. He was warm. Grateful. But then, he’d disappear. So we were like: “Do we go over there and go through his stuff?” What do we do? I know he went to a lot of groups, but, you know, where were they? We even thought about having him followed.

HELEN

But you didn’t do that.

MARCUS

I mean, no. We just talked about it. Who thinks that’s actually going to be necessary, you know?

(Pause.)

So…I…

(Pause.)

Well to make it a shorter story, I found out he’d been in and out of the hospital. I literally thought “At least he’s going to the hospital.” I took it as a good sign. Then, he died. He went in, and didn’t come out.

(Pause.)

So…there’s more to it. I don’t know what you want to know. But, yes. That’s what happened. Right before New Year’s Eve.

That Which Isn’t (Marcus)

Category: Play Role: Marcus From: That Which Isn't

Marcus says

(On the phone:)

Put Mommy on the…put Mommy on the phone. Can you put Mommy on the phone?

That’s good! Wow. How many are there? I love…that’s good. Can I talk to…

(To Mommy:)

Hi.

(Pause.)

I know, I know, I know. She’s processing, and I’m…processing and I’ll be done

when I’m…

(Pause.)

In the ladies. I think. On the phone.

(Pause.)

No I didn’t tell her that and I’m not going to.

(Pause.)

Well what time in the…well how can we both…

Helen returns to the table and makes a “Go ahead don’t mind me” gesture. She

sips her wine.

I have to run sweetie. It’s…no I really have to go

(Pause.)

She’s right here.

(To Helen:)

Lenni says hi and sorry for your loss.

HELEN

Thank you.

MARCUS

(To the phone:)

She says Thank You. Okay, I should go. We’ll work it out. We’ll work it out.

(Pause.)

We’ll work it out. I know I know. We’ll work it out.

(Pause.)

Well I can’t do that but we can work it out. We can work it out.

(Pause.)

Can I just…

(Pause.)

We can work it out.

(Pause.)

We can…we can work it out. Yes, we can work it out.

(Now to Edie:)

Okay…Okay Goodnight baby. Can you just tell…

Marcus listens for a second and then puts the phone away.

MARCUS (CONT’D)

Hung up.

HELEN

Everything ok?

MARCUS

Of course. Being a parent is a series of interrupted thoughts.