Merry Wives of Windsor (Falstaff)

Falstaff says

Go fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in’t.

 

(Exit BARDOLPH)

 

Have I lived to be carried in a basket, like a
barrow of butcher’s offal, and to be thrown in the
Thames? Well, if I be served such another trick,
I’ll have my brains ta’en out and buttered, and give
them to a dog for a new-year’s gift. The rogues
slighted me into the river with as little remorse as
they would have drowned a blind bitch’s puppies,
fifteen i’ the litter: and you may know my size
that I have a kind of alacrity in sinking; if the
bottom were as deep as hell, I should down. I had
been drowned, but that the shore was shelvy and
shallow,–a death that I abhor; for the water swells
a man; and what a thing should I have been when I
had been swelled! I should have been a mountain of mummy.