You’re no saint. You got a free cab, you got a free room and someone who’ll listen to your boring stories. Didn’t you notice on the plane when you started talking, eventually I started reading the vomit bag? Didn’t that give you some sort of clue, like hey maybe this guy is not enjoying it? You know, not everything is an anecdote, you have to discriminate! You choose things that are funny or mildly amusing or interesting. You’re a miracle! Your stories have none of that! They’re not even amusing accidentally! “Honey, I’d like you to meet Del Griffith, he’s got some amusing anecdotes for you! And, oh, here’s a gun so you can blow your brains out, you’ll thank me for it! I could tolerate any insurance seminar. For days, I could sit there, and listen to them go on and on with a big smile on my face. And they’d say, how can you stand it? And I’d say, because I’ve been with Del Griffith, I can take anything. You know what they’d say, they’d say, “I know what you mean, shower curtain ring guy, whoa!” It’s like going on a date with a chatty Cathy doll. I expect you to have a little string on your chest that you pull out and have to snap back. Except I wouldn’t pull it out and snap it back, you would! Ah Ah Ah Ah! And, you know, when you’re telling these little stories, here’s a good idea: have a point. It makes it so much more interesting for the listener!
